


A Crown Of Feathers

by SouthernGentleMonster



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Wing AU, brief description of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 22:26:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15917514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SouthernGentleMonster/pseuds/SouthernGentleMonster
Summary: Kylo and Armitage knew each other in childhood until an abrupt separation kept them apart for over a decade. Their meeting was that of chance and it throws them into turmoil.Will Armitage be able to rise above his insecurities and hardships and will Ben be able to help him?





	1. Fallen Feathers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sparrowlicious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparrowlicious/gifts).



> tags will be updated with each chapter
> 
> beta? i don't know her

He woke slowly, eyes heavy with sleep. Hux was warm even beneath the shade of the trees where he had drifted off with Ben beside him. He was the only one who ever hung around with him even though there was a five-year gap. The first time they had met Hux had just entered his thirteenth year. He had been thrown off guard by the many questions Ben had asked, the most ridiculous one being ‘why are you so orange?’ Yet no matter how hard he tried to scare the boy away the more he clung to him like a shadow. That had been a year ago and now he had grown to accustom to his presence. 

 

He felt something across his face and cracked his eyes open against the sun. What was left of his dark down feathers swirled between them, Bens wings looked frumpled. There was still some of the loose feathers that were still stuck at awkward angles that made it look like Ben got into a fight, some of the tips bent. Ben looked peaceful in his sleep.

 

“Ben.” It wasn’t more than a whisper and he gave a firm push against his shoulder to wake him. When it didn’t work the first time he tried several more times before he gave a shout. It was a sight to behold as Ben grunted and attempted to right himself while half tangled in the blanket they had been lying atop of. A pair of brown eyes slowly looked about, a mess of dark hair framing them. A gust of wind came by and the feathers circled them both in dance. Hux could see Bens family not far from them, his mother and uncle chatting with a coworker. They had someone gracefully accepted Hux into their lives after Ben insisted they were friends. But the shout drew Leias attention, her charcoal wings bristled in worry till she saw the cause of the commotion. She made her way over and laughter bubbled up. 

 

“Why look at you you've shed your down. Well, at least it wasn’t in the house.” Her tone was playful and Hux felt something ache inside at the unfamiliar gesture. He picked up one of Bens primary feathers, the sun bringing out the deep purples and browns. Leia helped brush her son down and groomed his wings until he was neat. The action caused him to bring his wings closer, an unpleasant memory surfacing to mind. 

 

It was almost as if time slowed when he saw a familiar face in the distance. His heart pounded in his chest, throat tight until his sight blurred he nearly missed the felt a soft grasp on his elbow. A concerned Ben looked up at him, round eyes hyper-focused as if he knew Hux's exact thoughts. 

   “Armitage is everything okay?” There was concern in Leias voice and his panic worsened. If he said no it could cause a scene and he was unsure of what would happen so he forced a smile and nodded.        

   “Of course. Someone's here to pick me up is all.” He stood, legs shaking. He tucked two of Bens feathers into the back of his trousers hidden beneath his shirt, careful not to bend them. A man approached them, his stern face unchanging as he started to lead Hux away. His last act of rebellion was him turning to look at Ben one last time, the image of him looking like a fallen cherub with tears in his eyes burned into his mind. Looking out the back window as they drove away would be the last time he’d see Ben, later that week his father would have him shipped off to Arkanis Prep Academy.

  
  
  
  
  


The sun cut through his apartment window, the light warmed his hand as he held the dark feather up to it, deep purples still coming through after all these years. Hux had kept it hidden well, making sure that no matter where he ended up it stayed with him. He knew it was stupid, it held no value beyond sentiment but he couldn't let it go. The memory of the day he got it was still fresh in his mind even a decade later. He had later reached out to find Ben again a couple years later to possibly become pen pals but found he couldn't find any information on his family. The only one who thought him worth friendship now gone. He had never felt more lonely. 

He had coped through his studies, throwing himself into them recklessly and here he was the youngest in an office of consulting architects. 

 

He stretched one wing out, careful not to bump the lamp as he did so. He groaned wings twitched in irritation. They needed grooming but he didn't have the energy to deal with the groomers, always seemed too rough on them. He'd have to struggle with it tonight. The rest of the morning was routine, a blur as he dressed and left for work. His wings itched within their harness, the need to clean them strong. His molt must be soon. 

It was a day like any other, filled with meetings that dragged and as the day grew longer so did his agitation. One of his co-workers made a jab that he should get a wife to help him with his wings and he rolled his eyes. 

When the day finally ended he rushed out of the office, careful to avoid everyone in hopes to make a clean escape. He made it down to the parking garage and out to the street before things started to fall apart. 

It was over in moments, the other car slammed into his right headlight as he had pulled out of the garage and onto the street. The other driver was in a frenzy, shouting how they were in a hurry and how Hux could shove things where the sun doesn't shine. It took an entire ten minutes before he could pull the needed information out of them, his patience at its limit. Looking over the damage he knew that he couldn’t just leave it as it was but he was torn over if he was willing to wait around to have it fixed. He let out a frustrated sigh and headed to the nearest mechanic his GPS brought up.  It was the only one that was still open but not for much longer. He’d have to taxi to work the next day and he wasn’t pleased. 

The building was no different than the ones beside it, the only thing giving it away as a garage was the small neon sign in its window. The small car blinked at him as he approached the door, a bell ringing out as he entered. There was a curse at the back of the room and a clank of tools hit the ground. He couldn’t see who the voice belonged to when a half-hearted ‘we’re closed’.

 “That’s not what the hours on the door say.” His words were loud in his ears and he almost felt ridiculous enough to turn around and go home.

“The hours are bullshit.” Footsteps shuffled towards him until he finally saw the face the voice belonged to.

“Not possible.” A deep voice he didn’t recognize sounded out across the garage and he looked up. It belonged to a young man with a mess of dark hair and soft brown eyes. Moles were scattered across his skin, a scar stretched across the bridge of his nose and onto his cheek. But there was one thing that made him almost unmistakable. Unbridled dark wings framed a pale body, the hints of purple brought through by the fluorescent lights. His heart dropped into his stomach.

“Ben.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux tells himself that he's over what happened to him growing up but life always seems to have a way to remind him he doesn't. Will what happened to him affect the budding relationship between him and Kylo or will they take flight to a better life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a short scene near the end of the chapter in italics that is a dream/flashback of some of the abuse hux deals with growing up
> 
>  
> 
> i know for some even brief descriptions can be triggering so im putting this here as a warning

 “I haven’t heard that name in a long time.” There was a stretch of silence between them, Hux unsure of how to go forward. This had to be some sort of fever dream. He was actually in some hospital after being hit, strung out on painkillers and his brain decided to be cruel after a bad day. A loud clunk brought him out of his thoughts back to the man in front of him.

“I’m sorry?” Hux was at a loss of words and sounded like some idiot. What if this was actually Ben's secret twin and like some fool he just assumed or he’s no one related at all and he was a stranger.

“Armitage.” A single word that stopped his mind in its tracks. It really was him. Ben stepped forward, hand outreached and Hux couldn’t help but step back automatically. He was barely taller than Hux but he still cast a shadow over him. Ben hesitated and dropped his hand to his side.

“I need my car fixed, can you do it?” He couldn’t help but notice how the grease outlined the swell of muscle along Ben's arms and he felt hot under his collar. What happened to the scrawny child he once knew. 

“I can’t tonight, but I'd be able to do so come morning. If you need a ride I could give you one.” Hux took a deep breath to calm the underlying anxiety that was ready to surface.

“I don’t think that would be appropriate, we barely know each other...” He barely left off the ‘anymore’ and his tongue tasted bitter. Ben cocked his head to the side, puppy eyes on full display. His dark eyes studied him, neon lights reflected off of them creating red halos in their depths. 

“But we once did.” There was a sadness in his voice, carried off in a whisper. The room felt unbearably hot.

“I can surely take a cab home.” Hux gave pause as he considered his options. What were the chances that Ben had become some sort of creep, his mother would have scolded it out of him if his memories were to serve him right? Ben's face was open as it had always been and that gave Hux some form of relief.

 

“Fine, but no funny business.” Ben broke out into one of the goofy smiles he remembered and his heart skipped. He was almost the same as he remembered him, somewhat clumsy as he moved about in putting his tools in place, wings tilted at odd angles as he jumped over things. He felt somewhat self-conscious about how unkempt he was in comparison. When he re-emerged from the back a bandana held back his hair.

“You never grew into your ears.” Ben scoffed at the observation. 

“I'm pretty sure I remember telling you I’d be taller and personally I think that’s a win on my part.” There was a brief moment Hux thought he saw Ben's face twisted in unknown emotion but it was gone as soon as he blinked. He followed Ben to the lot and out of all the cars the beat up truck was the last one he expected him to stop in front of. 

“You literally work with cars and this is what you drive Ben?” He shot Hux an offended look.

“It’s my grandfather's don’t be rude. And it’s not Ben anymore, it’s Kylo.” It was delivered with such finality that Hux didn’t dare question it. Ben climbed into the driver's seat and started to rearrange his belongings in the passenger seat to make room. 

“What.” It came out as a squeak and Hux immediately felt his face flush. It was an odd name for sure, a weirdness to it.

“Kylo.” It felt heavy on his tongue, like a weight hidden within its letters. 

“I changed it when I moved out.” Nothing more was said on the matter as they both settled in the car. It was mostly cramped with tools and he almost changed his mind due to the claustrophobic space but the seat sat back far enough to where his wings still had some room at least. He really needed to groom them it was boarding painful.  He looked over and saw that Ben l wings hang off to the sides. The car smelled of dust and weirdly of pine needles. 

“You’re allowed to let them out.” Kylo almost sounded hopeful and he could feel the small feathers at the nape of his neck rise as Kylo took him in. Even with how uncomfortable the harness was he rarely took it off in public lest someone touch them.

“I’d rather not.” After giving his address they fell into silence, the air thick with anxious tension. How does one talk to someone you haven't seen in years? You don't. instead, he sat there until they arrived to his home. He gave Kylo his work number to contact him the next day about his car. He nearly jumped from the car and made quick strides to his door, slammed it shut. He dropped to the floor in exhaustion. Everything felt on fire and was sore wanting nothing more than to go to bed but knowing he had to do some serious grooming. He peeked out of the corner of his front window until Kylo left. What had he gotten himself into? By the time he made it up the stairs his mind was already overwhelmed and he needed to escape his own thoughts for a while. He had designed his own bathroom, the large space perfect for preening his wings. His fingers traced along the snaps at the back of his shirt, the cold of each button on his skin caused him to shiver at the contact. The harness was always the hard part, the muscles in his back always sore after a long day of wearing it. He rubbed at the marks it left behind and exhaled. He let his wings spread, the feeling of his muscles stretching as familiar as breathing. The mirror that stretched across the wall of his shower let him easily pull loose any feathers that were out of his sight, making quick work of the settings as steam came down and soaked his wings. It was a tedious process of brushing each wing down so the oils could be spread. He wasn’t one to usually waste time while he washed but after the day he had he didn’t scold himself too much. By the time he was finished his skin was scrubbed pink. He now felt drowsy and if he didn’t have to dry off he’d gone straight to sleep. Thirty careful minutes later he laid across his bed, a  towel wrapped around his waist as he got cozy. That is, until his phone rang, the clock next to his bed showing it was only a little after eight pm. The phone continued to ring and he hesitated to pick up, it most likely being a spam call. 

_ “Armitage.”  _ The voice on the other side of the line was familiar even if he hadn’t heard it in quite some time. 

“Father.” He didn’t hide the disdain in his voice. Of course he somehow got his number even though Hux had changed it several times over the course of years. If his father wanted something he would always get it. 

_ “Don’t take that tone with me.” _ He felt himself flinch even though he very well knew his father couldn’t do anything to him here. 

“What do you want.” There was a pause on the line and he could hear the shuffle of papers in the background. 

_ “As you know you are the only offspring I produced and even if you are a bastard legally that still counts as something.”  _ A pause as more papers were moved around and if his gut was correct on what this was about he should honestly hang up now.  _ “My will is being written up and part of it involves you. There are of course parts you need to participate in to receive what is to be given to you.”  _ Hux frowned and his stomach turned. He knew the hammer was about to drop.

“What exactly are these terms?” 

_ “You must marry a woman of good standing and remain married to produce children to continue the family line.”  _ And there it was, the hammer that destroys his peaceful life. 

“Well you can shove the will up your ass I don’t want anything from you.” He hung up and let out a small cry. He had left that place in hopes he’d never have to deal with that nonsense again but here his Father is trying to pull him back in. 

His sleep that night was unrestful and when he woke he couldn’t even be bothered to fight with the harness. The wind nicked at the edges of his wings, their red tips matching the color of the rising sun. Agitation simmered beneath his cool exterior as he took a cab into work already knowing that this day would not end well.

Upon arrival, his predictions came true. He barely made it to his desk before he had at least three co-workers in his space handing him plans that needed to be looked over and it continued to pile up throughout the day.

“I can’t be the only fucking person here who can do this work.” The longer he was at his desk the more he became frustrated. His wings bristled and he kept knocking into his trash can and even his fellow worker who usually ignored everyone noticed.

“What is your malfunction?” Her own silvered wings hung behind her and she used a small knife to clean out her nails. No one really knew anything about her other than the day she arrived she announced they were to call her either Captain or Phasma and nothing else. It was said with such resolve no one dare question it. While they didn’t speak much they had a solid workplace truce. 

“Does it count if it’s my family that is the malfunction?” When she laughs it kinda put him at unease.

“You’re not one to usually let things bother you so outwardly. Maybe you should deal with this issue immediately. I could kill him for you.” She said it with such a straight face Hux had to wonder if she really would. There were times he did wish harm upon his father but could never think of a way so it wasn’t connected to him. He, of course, would be the first suspect especially now that his father apparently is putting him into the will.

“I think I will deal with it my own way. Thanks.” When he went to lunch he sat with Phasma. They sat quietly and he stared at the food in his bowl as he thought of his predicament. Best case is he ignores his father, doesn’t bother to try and find a wife and goes on living his life but he couldn’t help but feel that’s not what’s in the works. Knowing his father he’s set some trap that would force Hux into marrying or face some form of legal action. His father was a politician after all ruining lives is what he did best.

“You’re still wandering around in that head of yours?” He would never admit it to her but with her tall stature, blonde hair, and silver wings she always reminded him of the archangel Michael. She was scary enough at times.

“My father wants me to marry.” It was a phrase loaded with its own baggage and she gave him a look that said she knew there was more to it. “He wants me to marry a well-off woman to reproduce with which is not exactly in my plans anytime soon, I have no interest in that.” His sexuality wasn’t exactly a secret but he wasn’t shouting it to the masses either. 

“Then just tell him no. Unless you are involved with someone and that’s the problem.” He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and pulled it out. He narrowed his eyes at the number and groaned. 

“What do you want?” Did his father think calling him all hours of the day would change his mind? 

_ “You need to act like an adult and come home to deal with this.”  _ He had to laugh, nearly knocking his food off the table as he slammed his fist down on the table.

“You have room to talk about acting like an adult. Don’t you have some other bastard of yours to pester?” 

_ “How dare you show such disrespect I rai-”  _ Hux hung up while an unpleasant feeling burned in his gut and tossed his phone onto the table.

“Fuck, I need out of this office right now.” He left everything behind and kept going in whatever direction his feet took him. 

He made it as far as one of the parks before he had to stop at the sound of thunder. There in the distance, he could see one of the sheltered pianos the city had built as a community project in an attempt to bring everyone together in times of need. He most definitely needed it now. 

 

The piano looked old, its keys yellowed and dust gathered at its edges. The seat was worn from many visitors and for some reason that made him feel less alone. His fingers moved with the memory of many hours sitting at his own piano, a gift from his mentor Rae during one of his summers off. Sometimes she’d sit nearby and listen as he played. It was one of his few escapes and she had been someone he had strived to make proud. 

He started off slow, it being quite some time since he had last played but it didn’t take much thought as his fingers moved across the keys. The rain and thunder accompanied him as the song progressed and he could feel every sound from his core to the tips of his wings. They were half folded now, no longer inside their restraints he had left behind. Rain swept in hitting them but he didn’t care. His heart was only now slowing as it matched the tempo of the music. A familiarity mixed with something he wasn’t: freedom.

“I didn’t think you’d be one for Chopin.” Kylo’s voice broke through his thoughts, his fingers only momentarily stuttering before they found their mark again. 

“Didn’t think you’d be one to even know who Chopin was. You seemed the more brutal music type.” Kylos laughter was as he remembered it even though its octave was much lower now. It was goofy and he probably still only half smiled when he did it but Hux did not turn around it see. “How did you find me?” 

“I called your work number and a rather scary sounding woman answered the phone instead. For a brief second, I thought you have given me a fake until she started to poke and prod as to who I was and what I wanted with you. Finding you here afterward was more an accident.” Hux stopped playing, palms face down on the keys.

“Armitage, look at me.” He somehow managed to turn around with some form of grace, wings brushed up against the keys. Kylo opened his arms as if it was a silent question and Hux gave a nod allowing this small comfort. Hux wasn’t one to usually seek this kind of attention but he wasn’t exactly feeling his best self that day. Kylo came forward, bringing his arms around his shoulders, his body was warm against him and he relaxed into the embrace. “Would you want to get a bite to eat before I give you your car back?” 

“Well first off I should be still at work, second are you holding my car hostage so I'll go on a date with you?” Kylo looked taken aback but it only took moments for him to compose his features once more.

“I-I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to--” His dark wings shifted behind him, something he would notice later was a nervous quirk of Kylos. 

“I’m not saying no.” Kylo's face lit up with a smile and they left quickly. When he finally made it back to the office Phasma gave him A Look, one that bore into his very soul and he had to wonder if she could read his very thoughts and knew where he had been. If she could tell she didn’t say anything about it, only mentioning that she told the others she had sent you off on an errand for something she needed. No one would dare question her about it. He thanked her quietly as he gathered up his things and headed out to where his car was now parked.

 

Things only moved forward from there. It started off as small outings on their days off, slowly but surely learning more about the other. Kylo had started school but decided halfway through to drop out and take over his grandfather's old shop to continue his work. He kept in touch with his mother but that was about it. Everyone had all these expectations for Kylo and when he didn’t fulfill them everything fell apart. Leia, of course, knew her son was stubborn and pressuring him would only cause a greater fissure between them. It was a delicate balance.

Kylo had quickly learned his wings were not to be touched but sometimes he caught him staring with sadness. Hux didn’t know why he felt unease talking about what happened, it wasn’t like his father was going to materialize out of nowhere to put him in his place. There were moments of silence between them but he could tell Kylo wanted to say something but seemed hesitant. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

“Do you remember the day you left? At the park?” Hux had never spoken about it to anyone knowing he’d only be told not to be so selfish and childish. To anyone outside, it looked to be a privilege to be raised by Brendol. What was Hux but just some bastard child, he should be happy such a man would even raise him even though it was in no way his fault for being born. He stared down at his tea, afraid of losing control of his emotions if he looked Kylo in the eye.

“What about it?” He heard movement and then a feather entered his vision on the table. It was  _ his  _ feather just not any of his current ones. It was faded in color but definitely the same deep red and looked as if someone had taken care of it. He reached out and ran his finger along the feather.

“This is all that was left the day you left. My mother had told me there was nothing we could do to bring you back. I cried for two weeks, I was so angry and wouldn’t go to school because I didn’t want to believe it.” He let out a soft laugh, his wings unable to sit still. “At the time I couldn’t accept that someone would just take my only friend away.” Kylo put his hand over Huxs. He tried to focus on the touch but his mind faded back to that day when his life took a nosedive.  

“I have to go. I’m sorry.” His head was spinning and he felt unsteady as he stood, noises fading in and out as he made his way to his car. When he made it back home his heart still pounded and an uncomfortable pressure built up in his head. His breath came in short bursts as he stumbled towards his room and fell upon the bed. He curled in on himself and pulled his wings tight to shield himself from the echoing voices in his head that only seemed to grow louder.

_ “Useless boy.” His heart pounded as he shoved the bookcase in front of the door of his small room, hoping it would be enough to keep it closed. He ran his fingers along his wing to check for breaks, winching when he pressed too hard on one of the joints yet nothing was broken. A slammed against his door and some of the books fell and he held back a scream. Something crashed in the hallway and he knew it was his father was escalating. He glanced towards the window and knew he would never make it from the second floor. His father made sure of that after the last attempt. The door shook and Hux scrambled back.  _

_ “You could at least not be a fuckin’ useless bastard and bring actual pride to the Hux name.” The third hit brought the shelf down and there he stood towering over him. He brought his wings as close as possible, pushing his whole body to the ground to protect them even if it caused him pain.  _

_ “Please I tried, I’m the best one.” Brendol lunged at him giving Hux the choice to either let the oncoming foot hit him in his chest or to curl away and expose his wings.  _

_ “Not good enough.” The first one struck him in the ribs, the second one followed quickly knocking the air out of his lungs. He rolled over to catch his breath and his father didn’t waste the opportunity to grab the base of his wing and yank him upwards. _

 

He woke screaming, his body shook, pain flared through his back and wings. He could barely see through the tears, everything felt wet and like it was on fire. He could feel that his shirt was torn and he could see at the edges of his vision red blotches across the fabric. He gathered the strength to search for his only line to help lost in the blankets. He only typed in two words to the last person he texted and hoped it would be enough. He laid still with the hope that this wasn’t the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E6b3swbnWg
> 
> the song hux plays at the piano
> 
> also i hope i didnt miss filling in details point out if i did ya?


End file.
